Daylight A Twilight Spoof
by AdiandAmber
Summary: When Ed leaves home to join the military-Al is dead-he meets a dark mysterious person cough named Roy and a speshful romance ensues. this is all very tongue in cheek. If you like twilight, dont read this. Also, I made the writing bad on purpose.


Writers Comments: Yes, this is a spoof of Twilight. There are MANY references to the book series, so if you get them, kudos to you. Yes, this is supposed to sound really stupid. If it doesnt – something is very wrong. No, I dont like the books. Woopdedoo. Dont spam me. Oh oh, this is in an alternate univere thingymabobber where when Ed tries to bring Al back, something goes wrong so even though Ed still lost his arm, Al didnt come back to life. And this isnt complete-yet. I dont have time to finish this chapter, but wanted to post it anyway...so, um, yeah.

About three thing was Edward certain; 1. Roy loved him. 2. There was a part of him, although he wasn't sure how dominant that part was, who was slightly creeped out by that. 3. He was irresistibly, indefinitely, indefinably, in love with him.

Chapter 1:

Edward sighed as he gazed back at the house in front of him. The flames were tickling the wooden beams in such a way they looked angry. In fact, the looked chagrined. There were covering up the things he did- the mistakes he had made. There was no turning back- no remenant of what was before. He had made his decision.

Edward inhaled sharply as he thought about what he had lost and what a horrible life he had. Everything about it was horrible. Even when he had lost everything and just wanted to be left alone so that he could read Wuthering Heights, everyone insisted on being so nice to him. Especially that Winry girl. She was like a little chihuahua... a very tall chihuahua none the less. She insisted on being a good friend, pscht, who needs friends? All I need is a good book and a good cry fest.

Edward walked along the dimly lit road, away from his past. His golden tresses blowing in the wind. It was a scene fit for a move. The curled in such a perfect way many would argue he looked like a cutout of a perfect person. His golden eyes had a brooding expression, as though he was contemplating some sort of deep truth about his life. In actuality, he was wondering if a person wrote a novel about his life, what it would be like. _Little did he know he was in the hands of Diana! The person who loves to hate Twilight and its horrible lack of decent literature. I love Fma, but the parody seemed so irresistible._

Edward moaned as he glared at the house looming ahead. The only reason that he stopped at all was because he saw the 'AutoMail Shop' sign. Without the sign, it looked like a normal house. Save for the fact there was a dog with a metal limb limping around the porch.

"Edward! Where are you going?" A young, blonde human of the female gender called out from the second story porch.

Edward did not respond. He was to busy thinking about how miserable he was and how much he hated his life. After all, thats how everyone spends 95% of their days-isn't it?

Edward was immersed in the aforementioned self pity because of his self exilation to the military. Even though Edward had no intentions of going into the situation with an open mind, he still had resigned him self to going through hell. After all, he had passed his state alchemist exam and was now ready to take his rightful place. It was going to be horrible- he just knew it. After all, what was good or interesting about meeting new people or learning about other ways of life. Bah-humbug. Thats what Edward said to that.

Not much else happened that day. Or the next.

Edward glared at the building in front of him. The sun was creating an odd wave of heat, making the ground look distorted with waves of swirly air. Edward had almost missed the tall auspicious building, but stopped when he saw the sign declaring it "Military Area." He sighed at the thought of his fate. The swarm of people around him looked all to joyful and happy to be living in such a depressed world. This was a horrible fate. If only he had not been so selfless and exiled himself away from his former life. If only had been able to place a burden on the people around him, if only it wouldnt have been much better if he had stayed with the annoying blonde Winry. The one very similiar to a dog. "If only," he thought to himself as he trudged up the stairs as slowly as possible.

An all to cheerful officer pointed the way to a person by the name of Colonel Roy Mustang's office. Of course, his eyes remained glued to his back as he walked off. Edward was not suprised, seeing as everyone appeared to be talking about his amazing talents and the infamous tale he had brought with him. (In actuality, they were wondering who's kid he was. After all, he was much to short to be part of the military)

Edward inhaled sharply as he approached the door he had been pointed too. The dark wood loomed above him in an oppresive manner. The color of the wood seemed very angry; it looked chagrined. Edward reached up to turn the knob, having to hop a bit to be able to grab onto it. He exhaled, and pushed the door open with as little force as possible. The door creaked on it's perfectly oiled hinges _SMeyer's style is fun to imitate; I really love making mistakes on purpose. _Inside the room, there were two rouge couches and a mahogony desk. The couches were a deep shade or scarlet, and looked as though they were straight out of an interior designer's dream. The desk was a deep shade of brown. HOwever, the most interesting thing was not the desk or the couches, but the figure that sat behind the desk.

That was when Edward first met _**Him. **_The man has dark black hair. It looked as though a person had grabbed a bucket of the night sky and dumped it on his head, however not letting any touch hi flawless skin. He was as pale as freshly fallen snow, yet had the look of an annoyed bear. Edward was silent, abashed by the deep glare emmenating from this strange man. All Edward could think about was this man, and how stunning he was.

"Get out pipsqueak. I dont know who your dad is, but this is the military and this isnt a babysitting service." The man who barked out without removing his gaze.

"...I'm not a pipsqueak." Edward squeaked out, his voice an octave to high. It really only enforced the mental image of him being a chipmunk.

"Oh really, your only what, 4 foot eleven. Maybe not for your age..your what, eleven?" He said condescendingly.

"..I'm sixteen." Edward said with a anger rising inside of him. This strange man really ticked him off, yet he was very alluring in a way

"Oh really? ...are you Edward Elric by chance?" The man responded, with less fury, but still a tinge of annoyance.

He nodded. His fury had subsided, and all that was left was a very empty feeling inside his gut.

"Ah."

"Who...who are you?" Edward stuttered out.

Roy raised an eyebrow in a ever so beautiful way. "You dont know? How can you not know of my glory and awesomeness? ...I guess not. I am Colonel Roy Mustang. The fuhrer told me to tell you your title is Full Metal Alchemist. And get out. I have other things to do then lecture rookies on the laws of awesomeness."

Roy looked back to the stack of paperwork on his desk. The conversation was obviously over.

Edward walked backwards to the door, and shut it as quietly as possible. He sunk to the floor in a huddle.

Everything was different then he thought it would be. But one this he was sure of. And he whispered it outloud, to reassure himself of one fact.

"That guy was hawt."


End file.
